Manna

Ethereal petals
cascade
from the heavens—
departing from lips
aromatic
as coriander seeds
and sweet as myrrh,
to kiss upon
deserted shores
of powdered glass,
where men meander
before dawn,
taking pause
at the waking sun
and the promise
of petals to come.

vagrant

the vagrant ponders,
“If home is where the heart is,
where has my heart gone?”

i am mad.

i tried to capture you on canvas,
to paint away my thousand thoughts,

each stroke held so much weight
each line read so heavy.
my canvas became slathered with consonants,
my characters curled into words,
my words combined like compositions,
and I, a man caught under current
craved for concrete at my soul.
i felt my easel strain underneath
the gravity of my yearning,
my brushes shatter
at the frenzy of my hunger
but i continued to
to smear crimsons onto canvas,
consciousness onto cloth.

and with my sanguine stained fingers,
i sank into canisters of conversations
into cauldrons of could-have-beens,
and spread them across my walls,
until secrets slid down my arms,
and whispers puddled
into pools against my feet.
no corner was left unmarked.
no canister left unspilled.
but still I could not
find a way to complete you.
i spilled myself into cans
and spread myself against
thoughts of you
layer against layer
until my paint ran thin
and as I came to my knees
with my arms to my sides
I gazed up at the entirety,
of my insanity,
and understood.
how could i have hoped to capture,
what i had never really known
in the first place?

Yes, I am afraid I love it here,

Yes,
I am afraid I love it here,
here, where your arms
caress mine like petals,
here, where your breath
dews across the nape of my neck,
here, where your memories
lay framed along my drawers,
here…where your scent
blankets every corner of my room,
here, where your garments
lay in delicate piles by my bedside,
here,where your mornings
have decorated my sink….

Why yes,
I am afraid I love it here,
here, where your declarations of love
continue to resound
and echo throughout my walls.

Yes,
I am afraid I love it here,
here, where the heater
has developed cobwebs,
here, where the smellof smoke
has filled the room,
here, where memories
have been stored away,
here, where sinks lay bare
and mirrors have cracked,
here, where prescriptions bottles
sit with their lids undone,
here, where clothes
have littered the ground,

Why yes,
I am afraid I love it here,
here, where your declarations of love
continue to resound
and echo throughout my walls.

Mornings

“I love you,” she whispered before I could respond.

I struggled to say “I love you too,”

But my words were lost and muffled

By sunlight creeping through my window shades.

There are things I need to say to you

Words lost in translation
Navigate through rapids
Of veins,
Plummet
Into icy pools of mist
From heights of feelings
To depths of minds;
Stripped of meaning,
Free falling
Into spaces between rocks
And boulders
Before reaching mouths
Of inlets,
Separating islands
Of ear and tongue,
And spread into oceans
Of misunderstanding.

Between Sunset and Sunrise

I see you most often
Between the hours of sunset
and sun rise,
Through sepia toned lenses
Of faulty vintage cameras
Looping continuous reels
Of fragmented scenes,
Pieced together
Like poorly edited film,
Seconds from combustion.

In You

I want to be lost again.
Not in the physical,
But in sounds,
Words,
Sights,
And most of all,
In you.

I Have Done More Than the World Today

I have done nothing
today but gaze upon you
As you lay sleeping.

Everything

Everything I did, I did for Everything;
So what does everything mean,
When Everything means nothing?

The Walk

The night was so silent,
I was terrified she would hear me breaking
Under the weight of her presence.

The One I Lost

He sits inside of me,
Huddled against the wall,
Picking at the frayed edges of himself.

I wish I knew how to help him.

We were born together, He and I;
Identical twins.
His smile was mine
His laughter, my own.
When we were young,
I promised to be his lighthouse,
To shine for him in the darkest of nights.
I never thought he would become too blind
To see my light;
I never thought I would lose him
In the sun.

When he found his way back to me,
He looked different.
Older.
At night I can hear his whimpers,
He is haunted by the ghosts I had never met.
I only wish I could hold his suffering.

I only wish I had kept him safe.

The other night
He asked me to fool the world,
“Just for a little while,” he said,
“Until I am okay.”

How could I say no
When I owed him the stars?

I am his faulty light,
And he will always be
The one I lost.

Silent Embrace

As our chests touched,
Did our hearts converse,
And say the things our lips could not?

The Long Way Home

I am stumbling without you by my side
As I navigate familiar sidewalks,
Where our foot prints, once so light,
Have become craters in the ground.

Linger

The feel of your lips on mine
Lasted longer than the days
Before they met someone else’s.

#24

Fly on free spirit,
And I will bear this shoulder,
For your weary wings.