Untitled.

Often times I find my actions cannot express the contents of my thoughts.
My thoughts cannot convey the complexity of my heart.
And my heart lacks the intensity of my soul.
So I ask that you see me not for what I do,
But for what I am.
And I apologize if you peer into me and find little there;
I swear there was more before.
But maybe if you try hard enough,
If you gaze past the lying eyes, the lying smile,
And the figure of this adult growing up too fast,
You might see my old silhouette.
A giant behind my current frame,
The shadow of a child,
With a genuine smile,
With sparks in these hollow caved eyes.
I ask that you forgive me,
Forgive me if I hide behind a veil of words,
If I create this gap between us.
Because I swear it isn't what I want.
Forgive me if I cannot reveal myself to you,
With clarity; in speech or action,
In prose or poetry.
Because the truth is,
I want to.
I just can't,
Because.
The truth is...

I'm afraid.